Infertility Around the Holidays

A message from your friendly neighborhood infertile couple.

I know that you're curious. Maybe you heard we're trying to get pregnant or maybe you wonder why that one couple that has been married a few years doesn't have kids yet. Maybe you just have a big nose that likes to get up in everyone's bid-ness. We accept this about you and love you despite your protruding nose. But before you start spouting off the questions about children and pregnancy and future children, stop and think.

One in eight people will have trouble with fertility or sustaining a pregnancy. That's a pretty big whopping percentage. Chances are someone you know, even if you aren't aware of it, is going through infertility or has lost a pregnancy. The holidays are a time where we are all getting together, going to parties and gatherings, exchanging stories and events from the past year and catching up. I know you're curious. But lets be blunt here- it's not your business what's going on in someone's uterus or how someone's sex organs are working. If they want to volunteer information, they will. If they don't, it's not your job to ask them. Because the scenario could look a lot like this- you ask them when they are going to finally have a kid or why they aren't pregnant yet, usually in front of a group of people, they give you some half assed answer and then they find the next available opportunity to hide away somewhere and cry. I'm sure you don't want to be responsible for that.

The journey to having a baby is very personal and unfortunately can be very complicated. During the holidays, we all want to have fun and make new memories and we don't want those memories clouded over with sadness.

So all I'm saying is, think before you ask someone a question like when are you having kids. I know that we live in an age where everyone thinks everyone else is too easily butthurt or offended but I look at it this way. We aren't walking on egg shells trying to not offend someone or hurt their feelings, we are being gentle and loving and really thinking about our words before we use them. We're evolving to be more compassionate and sympathetic.

If there's something we want to share, we will in our own time. Thanks for considering this. Happy holidays.