So in honor of leaving bits of me behind, I want to start Dear Daughter. Little letters to Alice Mayhem to help her along in life and give her some of my voice if ever she needs it.
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Dear Alice,
Today has been beautiful. It is a perfect Spring day. Warm and breezy and the bluest sky hanging over us, not a cloud to be found. We walked with Daddy to the library today and I wish I'd had the camera because you are always so beautiful and wild and you actually frolicked. We walked past a field and you giggled loudly as you ran into it and spread your arms wide and ran through the dandelions and purple flowers and new Spring grass and you laughed for the joy of it. You have caught Spring fever. You said 'I LOVE the library!' and we hurried on toward our destination so that you could pick out your own books, something you love to do.
At the library, the ladies fell in love with you, just like everyone else who meets you. It's not just me that thinks you light up the world, my Mae Flower. A sweet lady gave you candy and you were SO happy! I watched the ladies behind the desk, with their laughing and talking back and forth and it was so nice. So today, what I want to say to you is this- don't compete with other women. I worry that the world will teach that you need to have more than other girls and you have to be the prettiest, the smartest, the one with the trendiest shoes, the best hair... the list goes on. We compete to be the best at everything and in a world that is tearing women and girls down and teaching them that not only are they not their best selves because something stupid like a dress size, but their fellow females are also not what they should be, I want you to know that we are all in this together.
Don't let anyone tell you to compete with girls. There's a difference, darling, between friendly competition in a sport or game and the bitter, lonely, angry competing of society. You will see the difference one day. You will see how we smile at each other but our eyes have fire in them. We say mean things in a sugary voices. Honey, you don't have to do that. You don't have to! I promise. We can all win! Isn't that wonderful? We can ALL WIN. My grass can be green and so can my neighbor's. We're all just trying to get by.
That's not to say that mean girls won't cross your path. We'll talk about them later. What you need to know now is that no one can make you bitter or ugly inside. You are in charge of your heart and your voice and you control what you put into the world. So put good things! If you are putting out goodness, then you will receive goodness. The universe works on supply and demand. If you are supplying good things, the universe will always supply you with good in return.
I hope that you have so many female friends because that relationship between girls is special and unique and you will crave it one day. There are so many women who say 'I can't be friends with other girls' and I think they just say that because we are taught to be jealous of each other and no one wants to feel that way, do they? You have more courage and confidence in your little toe than most people ever get to experience in a lifetime. Keep that, hold tight to it, and when you are older you won't feel the need to be jealous. Even when the world tells you that you have to be this way or that way and you have to think these things about your fellow women, you can look it right in the eyeball and say 'no thank you!'.
Today you love other little girls. You follow older girls around at the park. You love your Mama. You love your aunts and your cousin and your Grandma's. We are a tribe of women and we will raise each other up, darling. So when it's your turn to be a leader, keep doing that raising. Remember these 2 rules about being a girl- We Are All In It Together and Good For Her, Not For Me. You cannot go wrong having your own tribe of women to love and support you. There's nothing like it.
I love you dearly, my little beastie.
xx
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